It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
