What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
