I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I believe in your delicious
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
