Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
