I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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