I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
