mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
