so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
