apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
