Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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