Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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