I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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