i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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