U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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