I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
