So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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