ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize