VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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