im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
