I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
