We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize