overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
