somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
