i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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