I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
