i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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