make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
