Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
