NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize