Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
