Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
