we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
