we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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