Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
