Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
barbara walters just said penis...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She told me I should be a condom model.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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