i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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