what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
