how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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