Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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