The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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