I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
