Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
