Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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