This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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