So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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