I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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