capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
