her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
