I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
