I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
