Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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