Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
