I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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