Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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