I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize