I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
