Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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