It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
