I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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