So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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